Church
Worship Leader's Pick Banished Into Guitar For All Eternity

LOS ANGELES, CA—During a practice session Friday, local worship leader Jeb "G-sus" Johnson accidentally cast his guitar pick into eternal torment inside the sound hole of his guitar, where it will be tortured forever.

Once a guitar pick is consigned to the abyss inside a guitar, it is impossible to extract, and so the $0.15 pick was lost to the eternal void forever and ever.

"And behold, the pick was cast into outer darkness inside the guitar, where there was weeping and gnashing of teeth," the bass player said solemnly as the worship band gathered to mourn the loss.

At publishing time, Johnson had chosen a nice Dunlop Nylon pick to be his elect, and had placed the "vessel of honor" in a place of glory inside his wallet.

Breaking: PayPal Now Available

Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.