Celebs
Benny Hinn Opens Japanese Steakhouse: 'Bennyhinna'

U.S.—In a move designed to rake in even more money for the prosperity gospel preacher and faith healer, Benny Hinn announced Friday he is opening a new line of Japanese steakhouses called Bennyhinna.

Hinn himself will draw on his magic powers to perform tricks, stunts, and illlusions while working the teppan grill to impress his customers, while other renowned prosperity gospel preachers will man the other teppan stations at the Bennnyhinna locations throughout the country. Healings will be available for anyone singed by the fires of the grill.

“Come on out for a relaxing evening of delicious food and dazzling performance art,” Hinn said in a commercial. “I’ll use trickery and sleight of hand to provide an entertaining time for all—just like in my crusades!”

The wealthy pastor and author will perform exciting tricks such as knocking over a line of shrimp like bowling pins, pushing patrons out of their seats with his blessed grill scraper, and mumbling incoherent phrases in “tongues” to make the audience laugh. Lucky customers may even get to witness Hinn produce his famous white suit jacket of healing to start smacking people over the head willy-nilly.

At publishing time, Bennyhinna had published its menu online, confirming that one entree would cost approximately $50,000.

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